“…and I was dead”
This quote had a huge impact on me, HUGE, and not because it was gothic or provocative or anything like that, but because it was sad.
I loved sadness, because I could relate to it, identify with it, and it felt comfortable but also i understood the beauty in sadness. I got off on sadness, back then, so to say. I still do, but that real cliche otherworldly sadness, aka. Laura Palmer.
It was probably why I later became a sadist. I am not anymore, or rather, I don’t practice it anymore. I chose not to be a long time ago, understanding it was better to choose to not be one. Now I get off on taking responsibility. My my my.
And the bad karma, I couldn’t handle it anymore. It came immediately, and it was flawless, and it tore me apart. However, I survived.
I remember once Karma threw me back into my own body and as this happened in my head, I heard a voice say, “you knew better, now you going to get it!”
It was furious, mean Karma.
Albeit, to say, I made it out a better person, which was the point.
And I don’t rate The Brown Bunny as my favourite film for any other reason, (and when I saw it I had no idea of the controversy or care for the unsimulated sex scene)besides the fact that it’s a beautiful film. I liked the unsimulated scene I guess. I won’t comment on it, because I prefer to talk about the elements of the film I do love, which is not that very interesting scene once he story unfolds.
The blow job in the film is fine, it is something done in many films around the world and it’s somewhat interesting, understanding why. It’s mixing the worlds of old 80s and 90s porn films which I love, with are usually considered “arthouse films” in the west. Some cultures, do it in regular films often and no one gives it a second thought, because sex isn’t a tabu thing as much in the EU, like it is here. The blow job actually sent me on a journey of finding other films that have done this, they were mainly French.
What I do love about this film is, I liked brown bunny because it’s a meaningful grief stricken film.
I love that most of the story is told in the last 30 minutes and it’s a 2-3-hour film. Sounds painful, and some did experience this, I never did and I think its all relevant and necesary leading up to the last scene.
Depends if you watch the edited version or not, but if you love film then I insist you watch the full version, because Gallo is not a idiot, who has no experience in making films. He knows what he’s doing.
It’s slow for the very reason that the action happens 30 minutes until the end, and all the things he’s been doing and dreaming about etc, all come together at that moment. The story also comes together for the character then as well, and it makes it more sad than if it was just a short film made from that scene. Which could have been a viable option, but it was more hard hitting with the leading up scenes and the things the character Gallo plays does in those two hours.
We understand what the fuck is going on with this character then, and the utter lifelessness of existence you can live without getting closure from grief. Gallo depicts this perfectly he makes us grieve with him finally in the end, and it’s both a happy and a sad ending which pretty much sums up grief. Just like the mother says in the last episode of the animation series on Netflix I highly recommend, Midnight Gospel, when her son asks her, “how do you get through grief, it’s so hard!” And she simply just replies, “you cry..” In which I started balling my eyes out at that said. I needed to hear that, as obvious as it sounds!
because we grieve with the character. It’s a POV film emotionally lol. They are understood. And then there’s other ways of percieveing it like well was she giving him a blow job or is it a delusion or is it her spirit? Well, SPOILER, but it’s obviously not her. She obviously wasn’t really. Like Dogville. She is….but she isn’t. So the blow job is technically not even a blow job, but the reason it isn’t is very sad.
it’s all understood especially when she says “and i was dead". it made me sad.
I used to sample that part when I DJ’d. There is a feeling of ludacris almost, that someone is saying that. It’s mysterious and strange, it makes you want to know more.
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