TRIGGER WARNINGSsex work ?? i dont knoe if this is a trigger. lol
(better safe than sorry)
i call another woman a bitch (or was that last podcast…….better safe than sorry)
time wasters
domestic violence themes
suicide
suicide within the sex industry
ARE SEX WORKERS WOMEN?
This is something I have contemplated for some time, I wouldn’t just make an outlandish claim like this without the appropriate research, and personal experience, but this question most likely will be covered throughout the research for my life’s work, THE BOOK ABOUT SEX WORK. And I know thats really annoying, but chill, this is going to unlike anything you have read. And if it is like something you have read, contact me and tell me what! Because more of this when it coms to society and culture needs to be done, so i hope someone has started doing it, for only revoltionary change and nothing less.
I’m writing this book for sex workers, but non-sex workers will also benefit from it if they care to lose any hate they have in their hearts for sex workers first. Considering hookers are the reason, possibly, that their husband isn’t raping them or ANY desperate male isn’t raping them on the reg, gratitude over cruelty seems more suiting attitude towards your friendly local sex worker.
But also because, sex workers are different kinds of thinkers and we are just kinda cool to talk to because our perspective usually is not the norm. Why?
its hard to describe it in a is how I will describe it but it will probablly make so sense to you. WE train, we achieve, we go to war, we win the war and we repeat. Or you could say we live we die we rebirth we live we die we rebirth……kinda like Buddah.
This is something the book will delve into but it will be done uisng the scientific method and I will print the book whether the results are significsnt or not. Im only wriitng it to help future workers lose the shame and self blame. And realise what amazing cool gorgeous women they are but I get it. It’s hard selling your soul. I guess we are crazy enoufh to do it. I don’t buy into all the crap like….we think we desevre it or deserve nothing. Whatever that narrative is.
Did I just compare a sex worker to Buddah. I believe us sex workers have more oppportunities to acccidentally go into Buddah because of all the soul selling and pain that comes with that. its a pain that cuts deep. The damage I have from it im sure is severe but like a drug, you just dont know how sevee until you get clean.
IS SEX WORK DANGEROUS
Not in the way non-sex workers think. I mean sure it sounds dangerous, but Ive only felt in danger, in that way, for maybe 2 bookings and nothing ended up happening anyway. I have a pretty untrained (formally) natural ability to block a power players advances to take my power. That and a strong intuition. This helps a lot in lining up only safe and fun bookings for myself and my clients practically every booking. If you need a hustler in the sex industry, im ya girl.
TIME WASTERS ARE THE SILENT KILLERS
Time wasters are were misogyny goes to die. Its a sad obvious attempt to harm women, scare them, get off on them without their consent, and they NEVER INTEND TO PAY THEM. There’s ways to weed them out, but I know they might possibly be the death of my career sooner rather than later. A lot of people hate us, they want bad things for us and they want to take out all their hate of women out on us. WE TAKE THAT, for you non-sexworkers and we get paid over $500 a hour, and you would think we were selling something and taking the money and we are. But we also giving that soul thing away for free, and thatr soul thing is non refundable, we can never get that back. Can humans live without souls? Do souls exist?
I don’t think they do when I say soul I really mean essence. And your essence is very important. We don’t talk about people’s essence much these days, but it’s we all still have one. HOLD PLEASE.
ESSENCE
the intrinsic nature or indispensable quality of something, especially something abstract, which determines its character. "conflict is the essence of drama"
Similar: quintessence, soul, spirit, ethos, nature, life, lifeblood, core, heart, centre, crux, nub, nucleus, kernel, marrow, meat, pith, gist, substance, principle, central part, fundamental quality, basic quality, essential part, intrinsic nature, sum and substance, reality, actuality, quiddity, esse, nitty-gritty
Philosophy: a property or group of properties of something without which it would not exist or be what it is. plural noun: essences "Locke's scepticism about our ability to penetrate to the real essences of things"
an extract or concentrate obtained from a plant or other matter and used for flavouring or scent. "vanilla essence" Similar: extract, concentrate, concentration, quintessence, distillate, elixir, abstraction, decoction, juice, tincture, solution, suspension, dilution, scent perfume
Phrases in essence: basically and without regard for peripheral details; fundamentally. "in detail the class system is complex but in essence it is simple" of the essence: critically important. "time will be of the essence during negotiations"
Origin late Middle English: via Old French from Latin essentia, from esse ‘be’.
Did you see “Meat” was synonymous with essence? Lol. Can’t work that one out.
MEAT MARKET
Danger number one of being a hooker and long term detrimental effects:
the exchange of intimacy can feel like selling a piece of one's essence. It's the most profound and potentially dangerous aspects of the job. The very core of who we are, our intrinsic nature, is laid bare for others. This vulnerability can be both empowering and life ending, as it requires a delicate balance of self-preservation and trust mixed with hyper awareness, care and precautions towards your client. There’s a lot going on, you need crazy witch energy to be a sex worker.
PROGNOSIS: IMPENDING DOOM
In dissecting Freud's pivotal work, "Grief and Melancholia," I delved into the profound mechanisms of human emotion and psychological torture. This foundational text navigates the depths of mourning, unraveling the threads that bind us to our dpressive states of mind. It is a journry into the very heart of our existence, a deep dive exploration of the shadows that cloak our innermost selves.
Freud’s work on melancholia, which is the emotional roller coaster of a relationship between the ego and the shadow emerging as paramount to living well. The ego, that publicist of our conscious self, navigates the demands, preserving our equilibrium (or not) when life's get that little bit too flooded. Yet, it is the shadow, the home of suppressed desires and the real you, that yearns for integration. Together, these aspects of our psyche form a non-negotiable union, creating self-realization and a harmonious existence, depending how separated the different acpects of yourself have been and for how long, when the union happens, the feeling for me was nothing short of bliss, it was one of the most beautiful and memorable moments of my life.
In this reunion, we unearth the transformative power of acknowledging, embracing, kindness to self and figuring out the biggest issue and working it out. It took me alot longer after this reunion to work things out with my shadow. Maybe five years later, I finally had felt empathy for my shadow, after spending two of those five years embracing my dark side instead of villianising it.
This book helped me understand my psychosis better and in comparison to worst case scenario, I got off very light. Melancholia is like psychosis’s little sister and one can trigger the other and boom, the shadow will meet with my animus and a re-birth is generated. When the re-birth happens, an experience you can not predict even if you take DMT there’s no guarantee you will “cross over.” You will cross over when you are needing too, if you don’t then congratulations, you are probably not a head case lol. If you are a head case like me, you probably want to hope this happens sooner rather than later.
I believe I had a third spiritual awakening last year but it was not a good one and it was tied up in a melancholic psychosis which equals a very bad time. I’m still recovering from it nearly 1.5 years ago. I’m not needing professional help, but getting to know the new me after that experience has been a very challenging and unpleasant at times. I had to leave/fight my way out of a possible eternity living in purgatory something akin to the sci-fi cult film and video game, I have no mouth but I must scream.
However, there was a part of me that really wanted to go to purgatory. That, I can’t deny.
SAILOR MOON IS A HOOKER
Sailor Moon and her job in the anime television series is very comparible to the sex industry, escorting in particular (which is my main experience in the industry, Iven also worked in publishing in the sex industry a little and stripping, and in parlors before I graduated to escort, running my own business, and escorting is definitely the most comparible to the show). This common thread is so obvious to me in so many ways it’s worth reporting on.
Think about Luna the cat, that ever-present feline, pushing those young girls into their transformative destinies. Luna the cat’s like the OG pimp, grooming them for the game, and they must turn into the planet versions of themselves (escorts) whenever she says too. It's like a P.I.M.P telling you when to hit the streets. (Not all escorts have pimps, but to play into the very rare stereotype on us……in saying that, do you notice that when there are stereotypes put on any culture or race etc, that stereotype is rarely actually present. Is that a thing? Worth exploring).
Transforming into the planetary sailors (hookers) is no walk in the park. It's a slow process that takes a lot of summoning of energy from a force much bigger than themselves and its a force a human being can only summon for so long before one turns to drugs to summon a fake version of this energy source because the ability to conjour up natural is burnt out and this will happen to you as a sex worker if you dont take care of yourself, and unfortunatly, no escort can take care of themselves as well as the job would demand as to not burn out. This energy we are conjouring up all the time and gving away, is a energy we all have, but most will only for a very short time or never at all tap into it, because its not needed to survive. Its a energy that artists need to conjour up in order to make great art, music, to perform, to adhere to super heavy amounts of pressure and uncertainty and rejection and on the positive side unbeliveable relief and reward.
Theres no telling where this energy comes from, it is otherworldly (sailor moon gets this energy from outside of this planet) and by conjouring it up on the reg, sex workers are strengthening the logical and decision making sides of their brains (the pre-frontal cortex) making sex workers alot more logical than your average non-sex worker.
I believe we as sex wokers, can gain so many scary super hero-ish skills from doing this job for long periods of time. We can live a good life with a lot of time on our hands to do whatever we want with that time, which is kind of the dream right…….I think its one of the dreams regular people have lol. We might save money or have the ability too, in good amounts (but a lot of us don’t), we basically always have what we need and even want, when we are working as a escorts. However, on the downside, I think this giving away of our essence may have some dangerous elements to it also, that I have had a little preview into this danger once a few years ago, but I have not experienced the full recovery detriments yet (and it might not be as bad as I think, but I’m an animal and I have a healthy negative bias).
This one episode of Sailor Moon depicts Serena as being quite unwell both p physcially and mentally, but Luna the pimp cat needs her to be Sailor Moon and shes saying shes too sick she cant do it, but the cat is not letting up, Luna aint letting her take a sick day so Serena says, "Alright, I'll do it." She begins to transition but the energy is coming to her alot more slowly this time, like clocking into work at a factory in a slave labour factory or going to work with a hangover, and she’s coughing with bags under her eyes. She's not her usual radiant self as Sailor Moon, but she's under Luna the pimp cat's power now and does what she says.
Also, when they're in their planet sailor get-ups, they're dressed sexier and look sexier, compared to their regular dorky kid appearances when they're at school being dorks or losers ha. Sexier, after transition and summoning of otherworldly energy……hmmm. But the question I face is - what about Tuxedo Mask?
He's that mysterious figure who's always there to “help.” But who does he represent in this parallel? Personally I think, Tuxedo Mask could be seen as the client in this sailor world, appearing out of nowhere, offering support/cash, and vanishing just as mysteriously. He is literally “John.” So thought I’d get that off my chest (i dont like that figure of speech blerghh) Sailor Moon and the world of sex work, an unexpected yet i believe to be 100% on point comparison to the relationship woman are destined to have with the sex industry.
BUT ARE SEX WORKERS WOMEN?
I think we different.
THE PREDATOR PODCAST // VIOELENCE SHORTS 1 // ARE SEX WORKERS WOMEN?// Brought to you by I don’t really want to die, I just want this pain to be over, you know i think about it all the time, I just wanted you to come over., I got tired of Australia, it got hard to stay sober, then I met him and he blew my mind, that was it game over Productions PTY LTD.
Copyright Danica Conwell all rights reserved 2023
exception to elements of the podcast
MUSIC by Lana Del Rey. An unreleased track about domestic vioence called “Afraid”
Photographs found on a public domain not taken by me and i do not own them but I found them and arranged them in the way they are presented.
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