A COINCIDENCE OR A REPLY, NICK CAVE?

Regarding the weirdly timed Guardian Newspaper article addressing Jethro's death. Finally.

AN ISSUE TO ADDRESS WITH NICK CAVE

A few blogs ago I wrote a couple letters to Nick Cave. One being from December 2022 and one being a sort of non-serious, idiotic joke of a blog, replacing Lana Del Rey lyrics with words some what formulating a letter/questions to Nick Cave in the melody (in my head) to said song, which has always been about Jethro for many years to me long before he died. However, it was serving one purpose, to get these thoughts off my chest and out into the world so I can begin the process of letting go. The questions these letters address mainly revolve around something like, (maybe begging the question to Nick Cave a little even between the two), “what’s with the loud silence following Jethro Lazenby-Cave’s death?” In comparison, to the song and dance put on for his first son Arthur Cave, who also passed away a few years earlier than Jethro (R.I.P and I’m sorry for this loss to his parents and siblings).

This new letter and old letter I wrote to Nick Cave were both posted up on this Substack account between February 1st and 3rd 2024.

In March 2024 Nick Cave did an interview with the Guardian randomly addressing my main question.

This is seemingly bizarre timing, except that it was directly after my letters posted here to him. Hmmm.

Coincidence or not, this is an interview with Nick Cave with him addressing his silence on the matter of Jethro’s death, finally, and it is a kick in the face personally. But noted…

You can read it here - CLICK THE LINK (or copy and paste, I’m not sure if the link will be active because I suck at website design):

NICK CAVE INTERVIEW WITH THE GUARDIAN 28TH MARTH 2024 ABOUT JETHRO'S DEATH AND HIS SILENCE

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2024/mar/28/nick-cave-on-love-art-and-the-loss-of-his-sons-its-against-nature-to-bury-your-children

(Can I just add that Nick Cave met Jethro when he was a baby, I have seen pictures of him holding Jethro when he was a baby. So this story that he met him at seven years old is a lie. But why? Being an absent father is no excuse to continue to neglect your children, even after death (??)).

Strange.

This is the first Nick Cave has spoken of Jethro since he announced his death, five days after Jethro actually died. This seems like an overly long time.

The excuses, the reasons, the ease in which he’s saying that he grieved this time around for the second son down, is confusing to me and really puts him in a bad light. Why would he do this?

I find that this YouTube video tells a more honest account of Nick Cave’s grief towards Jethro, and of how he see’s himself and his life so far and in the future. Pronouncing that the Devil kills his first born son and is forgiven by the child, after much remorse and ultimately a lonely painful and sad death.

A lot more honest I believe, than his words in the Guardian article above:

…if you get what I’m saying.

However, I do very much like that story about the Devil and completely understand it. I REALISE it actually.

In saying that:

Nick Cave would need to be in a verily large amount of denial after Jethro died, "once shame on them, twice shame on you," could be appropriate.

Jethro dying, was the worst and the best thing to happen to Nick Cave though, for start the best because, he now has one less child to “protect.” If protect means having meaningless sex with a lesbian self proclaimed “man hater,” and then leaving Jethro with her by himself. This woman proceeding to predictably emotionally abuse Jethro in many ways until the day he died. This is not my idea of “protective” Nick Cave.

This was soul destroying for Jethro actually, and so was the absence of his father.

If what you showed to Jethro was “protection” than please, don’t ever protect anyone ever again Nick Cave. Plus, I was the only one who protected Jethro. 

On another note, Jethro’s death was also a blunder for Nick Cave, because in contrast to the huge song and dance he put on for Arthur, how can he say that he didn’t have a hard time with the grieving process with one son (Jethro), but the other he hired 20 churches to sing and grieve in, yelling the praises of his deep deep mourning, very very publicly?? (Consequently, making money off of Arthur’s death though, which went unnoticed by his cult-like fan base).

Nick Cave, you also said more loving words to Sinead ‘O Connor when she died, than you did after Jethro died. (??).

This is when we got you.

This is where Nick Cave was exposed for being a fake.

Just because one son has died and you went through that grief, that doesn’t make the second will be easier. I had two ex- boyfriends die in a row, (Andre Klein and Jethro Lazenby-Cave) and grief for both were very different sure, but both were absolutely heart ripping out shocking and melancholy. Different for one reason though, I went to the funeral for Andre and had my break down moment needed for closure and a positive mourning process proceeding it, which I was a beautiful experience to be honest but still very sad and completely life defining.

I also had unwavering support from Jethro throughout this mourning process, who was already in my life when Andre passed. Jethro’s support was a big reason also, for my more positive experience of mourning for Andre.

However, Jethro couldn’t be there to support me for his own death.

To be honest, my grief for Jethro has been horrifying and still lingers with me today nearly two years on.

I hope to never go through a pain like that initial pain I felt when I found out he was dead, ever again. A pain I still suffer, because I wasn’t invited to a funeral or wake to get that positive closure and beautiful mourning like I did Andre. A cruel decision made by one of the two of his parents, and whoever made that decision, made it out of spite and hate (I am assuming the mother who always saw me as a threat).

I never trusted his mother and was training Jethro to stop her taking his power, empowering him to walk away and giving him the choice to walk away TO ME.

We were going to get there, as I talked with Jethro the night before he died, my hard work, which consisted of just loving him and being honest with him, like a human being deserves, I could hear was paying off finally. Unfortunately, around 5am the next morning Jethro was dead. It was a Friday, his death was announced on the following Tuesday. I already was very suspicious something was wrong by Saturday though. I even called the motel he was staying at multiple times on that Saturday to no answer all day.

I understand you want us to know you are doing great Nick Cave, but what I went through for your son was not nothing!

Your son dying left a Monsoon of grief for me, a monsoon I have freeze framed to come back to when I have the emotional resources to deal with it, which must come very soon.

I published a book of Jethro’s Poetry, to try and help my grieving process along. This was something Jethro had always wanted when alive. I must confess, I included in it the last letter Jethro wrote to you, a letter Jethro had sent to me to make sure it sounded good enough to send to you. So that his father might actually reply to him this time. It was a good letter, it was the new Jethro talking. You can read it in the book Nick Cave, if you want to hear your son’s last words to you, they are very cool.

I do believe, that Nick Cave had copious amounts of validation from his own father growing up, in the way of wisdom and communication and physically being there while Nick Cave grew up.

Nick Cave has said in interviews he always had supportive parents, so what happened to being one to my best friend Jethro?

There’s many different ways you can kill the ones you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough.

Danica Conwell. 

      (Quote at end by Taylor Swift from track High Infidelity)